


Barks and Boxes

by newdog14



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Cute, Dogs, Gen, Human Bill Cipher, domestic AU, fluff!, rated for language, this is just fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-02-02
Packaged: 2018-05-17 19:07:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5882149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/newdog14/pseuds/newdog14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dipper Pines was having a bad day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Barks and Boxes

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this post https://smolskey.tumblr.com/post/138323181159/newdog14-smolskey-angel-fieramente-humano

Dipper Pines was having a bad day. Today was quite possibly the worst day of his life. To start, he’d had a nightmare that woke him up at around four am. He tried to salvage the morning with a shower, only to find that the hot water heater was broken, so the only available temperature was cold as fuck. Breakfast was also terrible, because he didn’t realize that the milk had gone sour until _after_ he’d poured it onto cereal.

Then there was work, which was never fun, but today’s batch of tourists had been particularly awful. First there was the mother who’d been complaining that exhibits were going to give her children nightmares, and had demanded a refund. When Dipper attempted to explain Stan’s “no refund” policy, she’d demanded to speak to the manager, but since Stan was out on a tour Dipper had been forced to spend a good thirty minutes arguing with her about the effects of a cornincorn on childhood development. Then there was a group of rowdy first graders who were there on a school field trip, and once he got all the glitter and macaroni out of his hair he decided to never think of that disaster again. Those two incidents, coupled with all the usual pitfalls of working with the public, had made Dipper’s shift an absolute nightmare.

After he got off work he’d decided to head into the woods, walking those familiar paths always helped him to relax after a stressful day. Unfortunately for him, the universe was determined to make today complete shit in every way possible, and after about ten minutes of walking he stumbled upon a gremoblin. And after about five minutes of running for his life, it had started to rain.

It took Dipper an hour to lose the monster, and then another thirty minutes of trekking through the woods to get back to the shack. When he finally made it inside he was covered in mud and soaked to the bone. He was tired, and grumpy, and all he wanted to do was change into his pajamas and watch whatever conspiracy was being talked about on The-Used-to-be-About-History channel. He was actually naïve enough to think it might happen until he walked into the living room.

“The heck happened to you?” Bill asked, amusement clear on his face. The blonde was currently stretched out on the chair, the _exact_ place where Dipper wanted to be, pretending to read a very large book. Dipper knew he was pretending because it was currently upside down. Mabel was sitting on the skull next to him, working on knitting…tiny sweaters?

“I just had the absolute worst day of my life,” Dipper said, kicking off his sneakers before sitting on the floor in front of them, “I really don’t want to talk about it.”

“Poor Pine Tree,” Bill said, carding his hands threw his hair absentmindedly. Dipper couldn’t help but lean into the touch.

“Oh! I know what will make you feel better!” Mabel said, setting down her knitting and jumping to her feet with far too much enthusiasm to not be suspicious. In fact, Dipper hadn’t seen her this excited since…oh no. Oh _hell_ no.

“Mabel,” he said, trying to keep his voice even as she ran into the kitchen, “ _Please_ tell me you’re not about to bring out what I think you are.”

“What do you think she’s about to bring out?” Bill asked, curiosity plain to see.

Dipper groaned, “Mabel I swear to God, if you bring out another box of dogs!”

“It’s another box of dogs!” she sing-songed as she reentered the living room with a cardboard box that was bigger than she was. She gently set in on the ground, and several puppies popped up from inside of it, “I’ve been knitting them all matching sweaters!”

“Mabel! Where did you even get this many dogs?” Dipper gaped as he looked into the box, puppies of all shapes, colors, and sizes were crawling over each other, trying to get a peek at their new surroundings, “There’s absolutely no way we can house this many dogs.”

“Oh come on Dipper, there’s only like, 25,” she said, cooing over a chocolate lab.

“Mabel! That is _not_ a small amount of dogs!” Dipper shouted, “Bill stop laughing, this isn’t funny!”

Bill continued to howl with laughter as Mabel pulled out a German shepherd puppy and dropped it into Dipper’s lap, “But Dipper, they’re so cute! Just look at their little paws!”

“We can’t afford this many dogs Mabel!” Dipper said, putting the puppy back into the box, “We’re taking them back.”

Mabel looked crestfallen, and her eyes got glassy as tears threatened to fall, “But we _have_ to keep them Dipper. If we don’t, then the shelter will put them to sleep.”

“Mabel I’m sorry, but we can’t keep them,” Dipper said, “I’m sure they’ll be fine, puppies get adopted all the time.”

Bill stopped his laughter long enough to look horrified, “Pine Tree! I can’t _believe_ you would gamble with the lives of innocent puppy dogs! I am absolutely disgusted with you.”

Dipper gaped at him as the blonde pulled a golden retriever into his lap, “You’re a _literal_ demon Bill, you have absolutely no right to be disgusted with me.”

Bill gave him a look of mock hurt, “Just because my morality is a _little_ _bit_ skewed,” Dipper scoffed, “Doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the purity of a puppy.”

“Dipper,” Mabel looked to be on the verge of tears, “Please let us keep them. I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to these little guys.”

She pulled out a terrier and held it close to her face, and Dipper found that Mabel’s puppy dog eyes were so good they beat those of a literal puppy dog. Dipper let out a groan, “Oh alright! Fine! We can keep them.”

Bill and Mabel both let out cheers, but Dipper cut them off before they could get too excited, “But only temporarily! Just until we find proper homes for them, because we are not, I repeat, _not_ , going to house twenty-five fucking dogs.”

“Oh alright,” Mabel said, “But I’m running background checks on anyone who wants to adopt.”

“As long as they get adopted, I really don’t care,” Dipper said, rising with a groan, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to bed. Have fun with your box of dogs.”

“Oh, we will,” Mabel said, and Dipper didn’t even have to look at her to be unnerved by the grin on her face.


End file.
